February ... Already?!

Didn't we JUST celebrate New Years? This year is going so fast already. And I haven't done the best at keeping up with the blog. I have no pictures because I haven't taken the time to edit them ... maybe this weekend. This is going to be a modge-podge of thoughts ... mostly for my benefit.

Anyways ... what's new with us? Well, three days before school started at one of the colleges here - I decided, "I wanna go back to school!" I had been trying to decide between doing medical transcripting online or going back to school. After praying and fasting about it - that's when I decided ... I needed to be in school. So, the next three days were CRAZY busy - talking to counselors, working on financial aid, waiting for things to clear so I could register, it was quite stressful! But, school started January 6th and I was blessed to get everything done before it started. I was able to get registered for one class that I need towards my Bachelor's, which I will be getting in Elementary Education. The class I am taking is, "Health Education for Elementary Teachers." It is a good class, the teacher is great - which really makes all the difference. The first day of school, I was SO overwhelmed and I kept asking myself, "What was I thinking? I can't do this!!" I think it was partly because I didn't know anybody. I kept comparing it to EAC and how you know everyone there because of the institute! So ... I marched on over to the institute and signed up for a class!! I am taking, "The Gospel and a Productive Life" and I LOVE it. My teacher is absolutely amazing. Plus, being involved with the institute gives me a little more sense of belonging on campus - even if I still don't know everyone. So ... that's me and my school life. It's been so fun being back on campus, back in the classroom and learning - I've really been enjoying it.

We registered Kason for preschool that he will start in the fall. There are SO many preschools around here that it was so overwhelming trying to decide which one to send him to! It was all I thought about for a couple weeks. After visiting all the preschools, comparing what the offered, their costs, their hours, locations (and praying about it!) ... we finally decided on one for him and I feel really good about it. He will have a friend from church in his class, which I am excited about. It will be good because he can be at school in the mornings - which is when I'm hoping I can get all my classes next semester. He is so excited to go to school and asks me quite a bit if it's school time yet. I can't believe he's going to be old enough to go to school.

Speaking of that! Kason will be turning 3 on February 11th! Oh my goodness! I cannot believe he's going to be so old. I have been thinking a lot about the day he was born and it seems like it just happened. I am so grateful Heavenly Father trusted me with him - some days I know I fall short of the type of mom I need to be but, he is such a blessing to me. As a single mom I always worry that I am not doing everything I need to be doing for him and it's hard. I always worry that I'm going to really mess him up because I don't give him everything he needs or deserves. I see little changes in him that I don't like - more aggression, more stress, more talking back, less listening. I'm sure part of it is because of his age but, I have a feeling part of it is because of the way our life is.

Sometimes I feel the way Kason does: stressed and overwhelmed. I feel like I have so much on my plate but, not enough time in my day to get it all done. Between Kason, keeping the house up, keeping up with school, church meetings and obligations, family time, "me-time", plus giving myself social time so I keep my sanity - I feel like I don't have time to sit down. I need a crash course in time management and priorities. I have been trying to get out of the house on my own, whether it's with friends, or just to the temple, quite often. I am learning that I really need time to myself if I want to be good at everything else going on. Now, if I could just figure out how to add a couple hours into the day - mostly for some extra sleep ... it would be great.

I have been trying to get out and date, meet guys, and just get to know them. That's been good. It's actually kind of fun to be back in that scene again - granted this time around is completely different than before - but it's still a lot of fun. It's nice to not feel completely alone, which is something I've really been struggling with lately. I think it's mostly just the month of February ... the 11th is Kason's birthday, then Valentine's Day, and then on the 19th is going to be the 6 month mark (can you believe that?). All things I get to do alone ... and I'm not looking forward to any of them. I keep putting off planning Kason's birthday because I just don't want to think about doing it by myself. Valentine's Day was never a big holiday for us but, just the reality that everyone else (ok, I know not EVERYONE) has someone to spend it with and ... I don't. And 6 months - I can't believe I'm thru half of year of all of this. It's amazing how fast it's gone. So, I'm just ready for March. And I'm ready to not feel lonely 95% of the time but, I think that's something that is going to be sticking around for awhile, unfortunately.

Well, that's us. That's what's going on. Even though things are hard and stressful, at the same time - I really can't complain. My teacher tells us all the time - "It could always be worse" ... and I know that is so true. There are thousands of people in the world who are worse off then us. We have so many amazing blessings in our life it's just hard to always remember them. We get in the slumps and climbing out sure takes longer than falling in. I have some things coming up that I am really excited about though so, I've just got to get through the next, not-so-fun, couple weeks and then I'll have things to look forward to.

Wow, if you made it through all of that - impressive. We hope all of you are doing well and are having a wonderful 2010! : )