Enjoy Everyday Moments

I really really wish that I could get on here and share some good news. I am ACHING to heard good news from the doctor's. It is so hard to listen to them, day after day, tell us that nothing has changed or something else has gotten worse or two things have gotten worse while one thing has gotten better. It is seriously like a rollercoaster!!

Today, Daniel talked to Dr. Hueng, Kameron's pulmonologist. He told Dan that Kameron is having a "Lupus Crisis"

Here is some information about a Lupus Crisis that I pulled from THIS website:

"Occasionally, perhaps about 1 in 100 Lupus flares, the disease is so severe it could be called a ‘Lupus crisis’. In a Lupus crisis, there is a rapid onset of severe disease in many parts of the body. There is kidney failure; disease in the lungs with breathlessness; fluid around the heart; inflammation and swelling in the brain, often causing fits. Although cases of Lupus crisis are rare, many require treatment on an intensive care unit, and about 1 in 3 people with Lupus crisis will die. Recovery from a Lupus crisis occurs in the majority of cases, but some people are left with some long term problems."

The website also says that only 2 out of 100 people with lupus will get severe kidney failure and a lupus crisis. So, Kameron's case of lupus is BAD. We knew that it was but, I didn't ever imagine it would be THIS bad. And for so long his lupus was controlled well with his medications that it is hard to have seen his lupus get this out of control.

With this new information, I do not see an end in sight.

Our tunnel just keeps growing and growing and the light at the end of it can't even be seen.

That is how I feel today.

However, I have decided that this is my life RIGHT NOW. This is what I am being faced with today and just like any other trial or difficult day, I cannot back down for that is what the adversary wants. I can't worry about 2 months down the road. I can't wonder what could have been done differently in the past.

I have to live TODAY. And what good will it do to sit and complain about my life right now? It will just make it more miserable for me and for everyone around me.

I am a Daughter of God who has always been taken care of during difficult times and that's not going to change now.

I am always amazed at the Lord's tender mercies that seem to manifest themselves at the perfect time;

~ A phone call from a dear friend right when I'm at my lowest.

~ A hug from someone when I was thinking nobody cares.

~ Lunch with girlfriends to get me out of that hospital.

~ A smile from the nurses or a pat on the back from the doctor.

I am BLESSED to have people who care about me.
I am GRATEFUL for my AMAZING friends who have been such a support to me, more than I think they will ever know.
I am AMAZED at the outpouring of love from people all over. It seems like each day I am learning of someone else praying for us. (and I thank you).

I am BLESSED to have a home opened to me, my son, and my mother so that we can be close to my husband.

I am truly GRATEFUL for our Father in Heaven who has unconditional love for me and wraps his arms around me at my most difficult times and gives me the push that I need to continue another day.
I am AMAZED at the strength of my husband during all of this. The few times he has been awake, his Spirit has been so strong. He is such a fighter and for that I am GRATEFUL.

I have SO much more to be grateful for! It's all about the cup being half full - not half empty.

So, however long we must travel this difficult path I know that we will make it to the end.

And in the end, I will be standing side by side with my dear, sweet husband.

I know there will be bumps and potholes along the way but, if I am able to remember that I am very blessed during this difficult time and I have a whole legion of angels in Heaven cheering me on and pushing me along; and most importantly a Heavenly Father and Our Savior, there whenever and wherever I need them for love and understanding that I will be able to make it through this.

My mom told me a quote once that said:

"Everything will be alright in the end, and if it's not alright, it's not the end."

So, I will be here - fighting until the end.