Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Easy Detour?

Today, me and some friends took our kids to the zoo. It was "free day" and the weather was decent (mid-40s!!). We were all doing good until it was bathroom break time. Sometimes, Kason does totally fine going in the girls bathroom but other times ... he throws the biggest fit and says he HAS to go in the boys. 

Well, today was the day he chose to throw a fit. I'm talking, screaming, yelling, hitting, crying ... all outside the bathroom. I told him, "Kason there is no dad here to take you in there, so either you go in the girl's bathroom or you don't go at all! I can't let you go in the boy's bathroom by yourself. I'm sorry." 

He didn't care. The tantrum continued for a good 5 minutes before I finally had to get up, walk away and turn my back on Kason. Then, I just started bawling. I was more frustrated than anything ... I have been dealing with Kason attitude since he turned 4, and it's exhausting. But, at the same time, I also get so emotionally exhausted always saying, "there's no dad ...", "your dad isn't here ...", "yes, their dad will be there, but not yours ..."

Nobody ever warned me that being a single (widowed) mom would be this frustrating/exhausting/draining/stressful ... So, I just stood there and cried at the zoo. My poor friends got to see a case of the "widow emotions" which more often than not, aren't very pleasant and aren't easy to turn off!!! 

Finally, one of the girls just hollered into the men's bathroom and since there was nobody in there, she had Kason go in and use it. (battle lost ... but, oh well) 

Sometimes, I wonder where the detour for 'Easy Street' is ... I can't even imagine doing this with more than one kid. I would be even more a nutcase!


Juliana said...

:( Hugs to you. I know it's hard but I also know that you CAN do it. Just remember, you are bigger, smarter, older, and stronger than Kason. 4 years olds can be a little easier to reason with than 2 year olds. But not when it has become a power struggle. Try to figure out a way to avoid the power struggle. If that fails, send him to Grandma! Love you!

Bon said...

i've been there! just take one day at a time. there is NO preparing for this part of parenthood. just be patient, and if your patience is all gone-walk away or as i like to do, lock yourself in your room! you're doing the best you can and Heavenly Father knows that. good luck girl. it won't ever be easy, but at least you'll be stronger for it. kason will appreciate you someday!

Mary Anne said...

Bless your soul, sweet girl. I know I have no words to help, but just know that I really do often think of you and your family. And I'm cheering you on.

Jakki said...

No...not a nutcase...just normal.

I pray that things are going well with you and your son...

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