Monday, September 14, 2009

Things I LOVE about my Kam ...

his laugh
his smile
his sense of humor
his deep love for me and kason
his love and understanding of the gospel
his love for his friends
his cooking (i miss this SOOO bad!!)
his love for sports and constant need to watch ESPN
his unselfish attitude
his testimony
his willing attitude
his good looks
his large circle of friends (we couldn't ever go anywhere without running into SOMEONE he knew!)
his balding spots
his ability to learn quick and remember what he learned
his interaction with kason
his Priesthood and willingness to use it
his desire to serve
his style
his courage
his spontinaity
his text messages
his determination to get things done and get them done right
his white shoes that had to be cleaned before everytime he wore them
his jokes (and our inside jokes!)
his cuddles
his confidence
his funness
his knowledge about EVERYTHING!
his singing
his stubborness
his whining
his toughness
his voice
his energy
his athletic abilities
his quick phone calls just to say "hi" & "i love you!"
his nickname for me ("goon")
his desire to be better and work harder
his competitiveness
his love for the scriptures
his care free attitude
his ironing skills
his sarcasm
his handyman skills
his love for his mission; his companions and the people of Cambodia
his hardworking attitude
his willingness to watch chick flicks with me
his willingness to drive everywhere - even on long trips
his spoiling me
his e-mails he would send from work
his words, "I love you just the way you are!"
his spoiling kason
his strength
his love to travel
his patience
his love for everyone he met
his dance moves
his giving attitude
his tv shows that he loved to watch
his kisses
his hoodies collection
his cute face
his pranks
his eyes
his hands and how he always wanted to hold mine (and the certain way we had to do it from day one!)
his missionary work and constant desire to share the gospel
his gospel insight
his sewing skills
his back scratches
his massages
his words "i love you SOOOOO much"
his hair gel that he was obsessed about
his family home evening lessons
his excitement over the little things in life
his baking
his love for his dog, dixie
his willingness to fold the laundry
his willingness to do the dishes
his sunglasses
his eye for decorating
his ears (one stuck out more than the other)
his words and notes
his creativity (especially in ways of expressing his love and ideas for dates!)
his opinion
his handwriting
his love for broadway musicals
his be-boppin' skills
his ridiculous amount of clothes and shoes
his love for hip-hop
his bad habits (all of them!)
his rope bracelets
his willingness to always try something new
his willingness to teach kason
his time devoted to being the best husband and the best dad possible
his time spent with me and kason doing fun, memorable things
his desire to always make me happy - no matter what
his love of hunting and outdoorsy stuff
his leadership skills
his eagerness to apologize
his want to give us the best life possible
his work outfits; polo, slacks and dress shoes
his love for WHITE hats
his love towards his brothers
his devotion to the D-backs (even when they were awful!)
his support towards me, no matter what i was doing
his stories
his example
his face when he was frustrated or annoyed
his willingness to let me win and be "right"
his clutter
his smell
his worthiness
his choice to marry me in the temple

just ... HIM.

I miss Kameron every minute of every day more than I could ever explain and I miss so many of these things about him!

It's amazing how losing someone makes you miss (and love!) all the things that used to drive you crazy about them. I used to HATE that he never put the toilet seat down but, now, I wish that I had to put it down everytime I went in the bathroom. I used to hate how he would never fold his socks in pairs, he would just stuff them in his drawer but now, I find myself doing the exact same thing. I especially used to hate that his shoes were always scattered all over the house but now, I wishing they were still there for me to trip over.

Even though I miss all of these things about him, they are still who Kameron is. He didn't become less selfless because he died, he didn't lose his love for baseball - he is still Kameron! He has the same personality and the same knowledge. If anything it has only been magnified with the knowledge he now has!!

And the best part about it, is I can still have all the memories about him! I just have to close my eyes and remember. Kameron will be there to help me remember all the things I love so much about him. I won't ever forget the kind of amazing man he was here on earth. I am excited to find out what kind of amazing man he has become in heaven, I can only imagine the things he has learned and the ways he has grown! He is one amazing man. I cannot wait to hold his hand again, in just a little while.

How lucky am I to be able to call him my Eternal Companion?!
What a BLESSING Eternal Marriages are!!!!


J-ME said...

Jami, I can't tell you how amazed I am at your strength! You are amazing! I love and appreciate your absolute goodness! You and Kameron are beautiful. I love you. I'm so grateful for your words. What a wonderful tribute for Kameron! :)

Chesney said...

what a beautiful post!

Maren said...

such a cute post jami. thanks for the constant reminder of all the things i take forgranted everyday. its the little things i need to remember to be grateful for. love you!

did you make it back ok?

Olivia* said...

thank you for that beautiful post. It makes me look at my family a little differently. I know I take them for granted and all though I wish you never had to go through something like this I am grateful for your faith, testimony and willingness to let us see inside your heart. You have really touched people. Me being one of them! I too am so grateful for the temple and the eternal blessings it offers our families!

Jenn and Kylann Penrod said...

Oh geesh! I shouldn't have read this before I get my day going. Now I'm going to have a runny nose for a little while. :o) That was a very beautiful post, Jami. It really does help me to appreciate all the little things that drive me crazy about my sweet husband. We should never take one day for granted. I'm so happy that you can be with Kameron again. Eternal marriages truly are blessings.

Hannah Peters said...

You (and Kam) are a constant reminder to me to never take things that our husbands do that irritate us, for granted. Your strength is still amazing to me, and even though you give a lot of people credit for you being so strong, it really is you, Jami. You are the one who chooses to look on the bright side of things, and to think positive instead of negative. I've said it before, but you are truly an inspiration.
I hope that you and Kason are doing as good as the circumstance allows. In my thoughts and prayers.

Heather said...

Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful! Keep writing, Jami.

Arizona Girl said...

Jami, we love and miss you down here. I wish I could give you a big hug.

Kara, Garrick, Rylee and Jadyn said...

You know, this post made me smile reading all those things about Kameron. You have such a sweet and wonderful husband that you get to spend eternity with, what a blessing! Of course, my heart still hurts for you that you have to wait a little while to be physically reunited with him, but it's just a short while, right? ;) I love you Jami girl! And like many others have said, thank you for making me more aware and appreciative of all the little things!

rosessirunofam said...

That was such a beautiful post! And everything you said made me realize how much I should appreciate Dustin more. There are so many things about him that drive me crazy, but I know that if he wasn't around I WOULD miss them. You are truly an inspiration to me and we love you guys so much!!!

Matthew said...

Jami thanks for the wonderful blog and all the wonderful things that you have reminded me of my awesome brother. One thing i miss of my brother is how he cherished OHANA! he had an unconditional love for you and kason, for me, daniel, and also our loving Parents.but it didn't stop there. he loved every one of his aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents. i loved that about him. as i read all these wonderful Christ-like attributes my mind and heart reflects upon my parents that taught Kameron these correct principles. i loved that he cherished learning from my mom and dad. i loved that he honored mom and dad by not only his words but by his actions. that is a lesson i have taken and learned from him. I want to be more like him by taking those principles that we were taught when younger and be able to serve people like kameron did. I know with all my heart that Kameron is the person he is today because of the things he learned in our home. I love reading the things you wrote and think how grateful i am to be born of goodly parents. Though kameron is not here physically to teach Kason i know kason is lucky to have you and his uncles, Grandpanito and Grandma to help teach those things that kameron exemplified in his life.thank you for the tribute you have given my brother. love you and kasonito!

Em said...

I think we all take for granted the little things in life until they are taken away and are no longer there. I always found myself wishing there was a piece of my husband's trash he left on the floor or some little thing that reminded me of him left there. I think it is so wonderful that you continue to keep writing down your thoughts and feelings and the things you miss or love about him. Keep it up. It will help greatly in your healing process... even if you never publish or post what you write you'll be amazed to be able to look back in 3 months, 9 months and see how far you've come. You'll also touch many lives... many of which you may never know by your example of faith and strength and for just being you and sharing your experience. Keep the faith, keep writing and peace will continue to bless your life.

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