Wednesday, February 3, 2010

February ... Already?!

Didn't we JUST celebrate New Years? This year is going so fast already. And I haven't done the best at keeping up with the blog. I have no pictures because I haven't taken the time to edit them ... maybe this weekend. This is going to be a modge-podge of thoughts ... mostly for my benefit.

Anyways ... what's new with us? Well, three days before school started at one of the colleges here - I decided, "I wanna go back to school!" I had been trying to decide between doing medical transcripting online or going back to school. After praying and fasting about it - that's when I decided ... I needed to be in school. So, the next three days were CRAZY busy - talking to counselors, working on financial aid, waiting for things to clear so I could register, it was quite stressful! But, school started January 6th and I was blessed to get everything done before it started. I was able to get registered for one class that I need towards my Bachelor's, which I will be getting in Elementary Education. The class I am taking is, "Health Education for Elementary Teachers." It is a good class, the teacher is great - which really makes all the difference. The first day of school, I was SO overwhelmed and I kept asking myself, "What was I thinking? I can't do this!!" I think it was partly because I didn't know anybody. I kept comparing it to EAC and how you know everyone there because of the institute! So ... I marched on over to the institute and signed up for a class!! I am taking, "The Gospel and a Productive Life" and I LOVE it. My teacher is absolutely amazing. Plus, being involved with the institute gives me a little more sense of belonging on campus - even if I still don't know everyone. So ... that's me and my school life. It's been so fun being back on campus, back in the classroom and learning - I've really been enjoying it.

We registered Kason for preschool that he will start in the fall. There are SO many preschools around here that it was so overwhelming trying to decide which one to send him to! It was all I thought about for a couple weeks. After visiting all the preschools, comparing what the offered, their costs, their hours, locations (and praying about it!) ... we finally decided on one for him and I feel really good about it. He will have a friend from church in his class, which I am excited about. It will be good because he can be at school in the mornings - which is when I'm hoping I can get all my classes next semester. He is so excited to go to school and asks me quite a bit if it's school time yet. I can't believe he's going to be old enough to go to school.

Speaking of that! Kason will be turning 3 on February 11th! Oh my goodness! I cannot believe he's going to be so old. I have been thinking a lot about the day he was born and it seems like it just happened. I am so grateful Heavenly Father trusted me with him - some days I know I fall short of the type of mom I need to be but, he is such a blessing to me. As a single mom I always worry that I am not doing everything I need to be doing for him and it's hard. I always worry that I'm going to really mess him up because I don't give him everything he needs or deserves. I see little changes in him that I don't like - more aggression, more stress, more talking back, less listening. I'm sure part of it is because of his age but, I have a feeling part of it is because of the way our life is.

Sometimes I feel the way Kason does: stressed and overwhelmed. I feel like I have so much on my plate but, not enough time in my day to get it all done. Between Kason, keeping the house up, keeping up with school, church meetings and obligations, family time, "me-time", plus giving myself social time so I keep my sanity - I feel like I don't have time to sit down. I need a crash course in time management and priorities. I have been trying to get out of the house on my own, whether it's with friends, or just to the temple, quite often. I am learning that I really need time to myself if I want to be good at everything else going on. Now, if I could just figure out how to add a couple hours into the day - mostly for some extra sleep ... it would be great.

I have been trying to get out and date, meet guys, and just get to know them. That's been good. It's actually kind of fun to be back in that scene again - granted this time around is completely different than before - but it's still a lot of fun. It's nice to not feel completely alone, which is something I've really been struggling with lately. I think it's mostly just the month of February ... the 11th is Kason's birthday, then Valentine's Day, and then on the 19th is going to be the 6 month mark (can you believe that?). All things I get to do alone ... and I'm not looking forward to any of them. I keep putting off planning Kason's birthday because I just don't want to think about doing it by myself. Valentine's Day was never a big holiday for us but, just the reality that everyone else (ok, I know not EVERYONE) has someone to spend it with and ... I don't. And 6 months - I can't believe I'm thru half of year of all of this. It's amazing how fast it's gone. So, I'm just ready for March. And I'm ready to not feel lonely 95% of the time but, I think that's something that is going to be sticking around for awhile, unfortunately.

Well, that's us. That's what's going on. Even though things are hard and stressful, at the same time - I really can't complain. My teacher tells us all the time - "It could always be worse" ... and I know that is so true. There are thousands of people in the world who are worse off then us. We have so many amazing blessings in our life it's just hard to always remember them. We get in the slumps and climbing out sure takes longer than falling in. I have some things coming up that I am really excited about though so, I've just got to get through the next, not-so-fun, couple weeks and then I'll have things to look forward to.

Wow, if you made it through all of that - impressive. We hope all of you are doing well and are having a wonderful 2010! : )


Anonymous said...

Keep your head up - you're doing great. And you're not alone... you have Heavenly Father watching over you and is with you every minute. You have your beautiful son to keep you busy and to talk back to you. You have Kam in spirit, who I bet you, never leaves your side.
I know how school is, I just started 2 classes along with still working full time, having a 2 year old, a house to clean up after, and being pregnant. Do what you can - the rest can wait. The things that are most important will always get done first, mainly your beautiful little boy. Don't stress too much, you really are doing great! Take Kason out for ice cream on V-Day - after all, he is the best man in your life!!

Sarah Pace said...

Thanks Jamie for the comment. we are actually doing ok right now. but if I do need something I will let you know. I have been really impressed with the doctors and nurses here. they seem to know soooo much more than our hospital people. So thats been nice.

and about kasons attitude changes, Hailey is the same way! she'll be 3 in june. so don't feel bad. She is doing exactly what Kason is doing. I'm gald you are liking Utah! and dating!!! good for you! take care!

Jewel said...

You're wonderful. I'm so impressed by what a good mom you are and the amazing attitude and outlook you choose to have.

Summers Family said...

It sounds like you are doing a good job at keeping busy! I hope that everything goes good for you at school and I hope that this month passes quickly for you!

The Other Oyler's said...

I took that Institute class right after my divorce and I LOVED it. Who is your instructor? I was actually thinking the other day how I want to take it again. I liked that it was different from the same old Scripture classes (not that those aren't great) and I learned so much from them. I opened my first IRA, and made lots of goals. I actually found that list a while back with my 100 goals on it and even in just a few years I had accomplished a lot of them....CRAZY.
And I learned this crazy statistic from my counselor the other day - kids only need their parents to be "good" parents for 30% of the time for them to turn out okay (that's not a quote but that was the jist of the statistic). Which is a relief to know. Heavenly Father knew parents weren't perfect so He gave us a lot of buffer room for our inadequacies! So hang in there! You are doing a greta job! And good luck with school.

Mary Beth said...

Jamie - I enjoy reading your posts!!

Tyler and Brianna Hatch said...

You are doing better than you think! Good for you in getting back in the dating scene, I could see that both being hard but fun at the same time. There will be someone out there to lift your spirits and be great with Kason. Kameron I am sure is smiling down at you wondering how amazing you are and great with the changes to come. Thanks for your comment about Tyler's new job, we are definately excited. Before you know it that year mark will be up and you will slowly but surely feeling like yourself and completely happy. So proud of you!

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