Thursday, August 20, 2009

8/20: The Morning After

Tuesday when I would talk to Kameron's doctor's and nurses they all said that Kameron had really taken a turn for the worse. He was on 3 blood pressure medications to keep his blood pressure elevated but, it continued to fall. His vent settings were at 100% but, his saturation continued to drop. I talked to the nurse Tuesday night and she said that he was very unresponsive and weak. We had a planned meeting with one of his doctors Wednesday morning so I was planning on heading up there.

When I called the hospital Wednesday morning his nurse said that he was a lot of the same. Low oxygen saturation and low blood pressure. I then talked to his pulmonologist who told me that I needed to come, and bring the family - he said, "it really doesn't look good right now."

I had the biggest knot in my stomach as I got ready to leave. On the drive, as soon as I passed the Border Patrol CheckPoint, I started praying. I was crying and praying and asking Heavenly Father to please not take my best friend! I can't do it without him. He is the best thing that has ever happened to me. After praying for those things, my prayers slowly turned to prayers of asking Him to follow through with his promises, the blessings that have been given throughout this, I asked Him to keep those promises. I knew that He would, and at the time, I was certain that those promises were to be fulfilled on earth.

As I got to the hopsital, my mom and brother were there, as we walked into the hospital room Kameron looked so awful. He had hardly any coloring left, he was completely unresponsive, the nurse told us that even though he has been on 3 blood pressure medications, they still haven't been able to get any type of blood pressure reading. His oxygen saturation levels were in the 30s & 40s. Over night his heart had gone into rapid heartbeat and then parts of his heart would stop working. The only thing going strong when I got to the hospital was his heartbeat. The nurse told us that this was Kameron's way of passing. She asked me if his heart was to stop if I wanted them to do CPR. At that time, I said yes. It only made sense to me, I thought he had some fight left in him.

I was angry. I was looking towards the heavens saying, "You PROMISED, You PROMISED! How could You do this to me?" I kept thinking that there would be a miracle, and Kameron would be fine. I was praying for one. And then, I heard a voice tell me, "He never said those promises were for earth." And then I knew. I couldn't go near him, I was in shock. I didn't cry, I didn't hold his hand. I didn't even say good-bye but, I know that doesn't matter because he was right there beside me through all of this.

And then, it happened. At around 10am Kameron coded. His nurse rushed in and did what I had told her to do, she hit the blue "code" button and the alarm sounded. At least 15 nurses rushed into Kameron's tiny room and his nurse started doing CPR. I started crying hysterically and his doctor came in a told me, "you don't want him to suffer like this, do you?" I looked to my mom, for answers but, it was all up to me. Then I looked at Kameron, the nurse pounding on his chest. I saw his heartrate climb to 84 and that gave me a glimmer of hope. But then I realized it's only because she was beating it for him and I knew there was nothing to be done. I yelled at them, through my tears, "JUST STOP! PLEASE STOP!" And that was it. A few tears were shed by the nurses and then Kameron's machines were turned off and the room cleared out.

I sat there in shock. He was gone and it seemed so impossible. I cried & cried until I had no tears left. I sat there and looked at his poor, sick body. I didn't even know what to do. I just sat there, numb. Nurses came in and paid their condolences and I numbly hugged each of them and thanked them for all they did, they really were a great team of nurses for Kameron. He had gotten the best care possible.

I sat in his room for awhile, checking my phone for Kara or Laurel to say they were there. I needed to talk to someone other than family - my family was grieving too and I just needed some support from someone who wasn't going through the same type of hurt. Art & Elena left occasionally to make or answer phone calls. Mom & Jesse were in and out of the room. And I just sat there, in disbelief that this is my life now. I thought of all the things that will change. I thought about what my days will be like now. I thought about how it will be possible to even make it day by day with out my husband's hand to hold. I thought about Kason, how would he handle all of this, what would I tell him?

I remember saying, "This isn't fair!" And it's not fair, at all, to any of us. But, we aren't in control of our lives and it isn't up to us to decide if things that happen to us are fair or not.

Then around 11:30, Kara said she was there. I rushed out of Kameron's room to go find Kara. While I was walking around looking for Kara, I got a text from Laurel saying she had just found out, word was starting to spread. When I found Kara, she ran towards me crying. I just cried and hugged her. She was saying, "I'm so sorry, Jami. I'm so sorry." And I cried. I let all of my emotions out. We went and sat in the chapel and cried.

We talked and cried and I remember saying, "What am I supposed to do? How can I do this without him?" I remember having such a heavy heart and almost a panic of what would happen with my life. I remember wondering if I would be able to give Kason the life he deserves and how I would be strong for him. Kara was so amazing to listen to me talk and cry and the things she said that helped me get to where I am now.

Mom and Jesse came in and asked if I wanted Kason with me. I told them, "Yes, I need his strength right now." They left to go pick up Kason from Thatcher. Kara and I walked outside. It was almost as if a burden was lifted from my shoulders and the realization came to me that Kameron is okay. He's not in an awful place, he is in the most amazing place anyone can go. He isn't hurting anymore. He isn't suffering. He is happy and he has all of his questions answered. He is the lucky one.

As we sat outside and I talked out my emotions, I realized that it is more important for him to be with Heavenly Father right now, he has missions in Heaven that need to be accomplished. I realized that this trial is about MY strength and MY faith and MY understanding of everything. So, I am okay with where Kameron is. I know where he is and I know that he has stood beside the Savior. I know that he will be our constant companion and watch over us and bless us from Heaven, probably more than he ever could have on earth.

When Laurel got there we just talked and hugged. Laurel and I agreed that Kameron is with Hannah now, Laurel's little girl. Laurel promised Kameron that if he took care of Hannah, that she would take care of Kason.

We walked back into the hospital, holding hands, and a nurse said that they had removed all of Kameron's tubes and lines. I went in with Laurel & Kara. The Spirit was so strong in his room. We sat down and they held my hands as I looked at Kameron. His body looked so peaceful sitting there in the bed. He wasn't fighting for breath, his organs weren't struggling to function, he was at peace. He had been healed, just like our Heavenly Father had promised. His mind was sharp, just like had been promised. He was there to fulfill his missions.

Laurel & Kara left and I layed my head on Kameron and held his hand, for the last time. I knew he was sitting there right beside me, wishing he could hold my hand through all of this. I told him that I knew he was in a better place and that he was happy. Then I begged him to never leave us. I cried through my words as I said, "Please Kameron, don't ever, ever, ever leave my side. I need you now, more than ever." And I know that he won't. He will continue to be a strength to me. After I felt like I had said everything I could, I left.

I started to realize that things needed to be done. I called the funeral home and made arrangements for Kameron to be transported to Sierra Vista. The Habans and I spoke and discussed some concerns and "what to do's". And then, we all decided to leave. I kissed Kameron's cold head, told him I loved him, and that was it. The nurses made plans to transport Kameron to pathology. His body would finally be able to leave the place that caused him so much pain and suffering.

I found Laurel & Kara, who had been joined by Emily & Camille. We sat and talked, cried a few more tears. I remember at one point Laurel telling me that on Monday, when Kameron had cried and was squeezing my hand, that he knew he would be leaving me. His heart was hurting that he would have to leave this earth and leave me behind. He couldn't tell me and I remember asking him, "You know you're going to be okay, right?" He nodded his head yes. Little did I know that at that time, his idea of "okay" and mine, were two totally different things. I can just imagine his heart hurting for what he knew was about to happen and not being able to hold me and tell me that everything really would be alright. I know that it was Monday night that his Spirit left his body. I am so grateful I was not at the hospital on Tuesday to watch his body fight and suffer to stay alive. I am glad I wasn't there to see how awful it really was and that I was only there Wednesday morning to see him struggle for a little while. I know he was hanging on until we were able to be there. It wasn't even 30 minutes that we were there before he passed. He was always one to think of others and I am grateful that he did that for us.

While I was with friends, and had Kason with me, he asked me if we could go see Daddy. I just fell apart. This poor innocent little boy has no idea what has just happened. He was holding me tight, he knew I was hurting. I took him outside and told him that Daddy doesn't live with us anymore. Daddy went to go live with Heavenly Father and Jesus and he is up in heaven. Daddy is happy and healthy and he isn't sick anymore. I made sure Kason KNEW that his Daddy loves him very much, he always will, and he will always be with Kason. When I was finished Kason layed his head on my shoulder and hugged me tight. I don't know how much he understands but, I will always make sure that he knows what an amazing daddy he has and how much love he has for him.

After leaving the hospital, my friends and I went to go get something to eat. I was so numb still. I would being sitting there totally fine and then start crying because something I saw would remind me of Kameron. The baseball game on tv, a happy couple out on a date, it was so hard to not look around and see Kameron everywhere.

Coming home I was sick to my stomach. I knew that here, I would have to face reality. Each day would be difficult to even get out of bed. Last night, I struggled to fall asleep. I asked Heavenly Father for the strength I need to make it through this. As I layed my head on my pillow, I felt Kameron's hand on my shoulder, strengthening me and holding me until I fell asleep.

This morning, I haven't stopped crying. It's hard to imagine that he really is gone, and it wasn't just an awful dream. I have to live the rest of my life without my best friend here on earth. It is so scary to think about my future. I am scared for Kason. I am sick to my stomach over everything I am going to have to face. I know that now, more than ever, I am going to need my faith to get me through this. I need faith each morning to get out of bed and be a mom to my little, Kason. I will need faith to make decisions for me and Kason. I can't rely on Kameron anymore to turn to and ask his opinion - it's all up to me.

I am grateful for our patriarchal blessings, they both mean more to me now then they ever have before. I am grateful, grateful, grateful for eternal families. I KNOW without a doubt in my mind that Kameron is in Heaven anxiously awaiting our return so that we can be together again. I know that he will be so busy up there. I am sure he is already working, he was never one to sit still and not do anything. I am grateful for the knowledge that we have, for temple ceremonies. I am so grateful we were sealed in the temple for time and all eternity. I know that I have my best friend still, I still have my husband, Kason still has his daddy, it's just going to be awhile before we can all hold each other again.

It hurts so bad to not have him here. I feel lost and lonely, but at the same time, I feel a peace in knowing the things that I know, about eternal families and life after death. Kameron wouldn't want me to live in fear of my future. The rest of my life is going to be lived for him. I will do everything I do so that I can be with him again. I am grateful that he has passed through the veil so that he no longer has to suffer each day. I remember praying once, a few months ago, for Kameron to just have his pain taken away. I can now be at peace knowing that he has no pain. I am grateful that he doesn't have to suffer on this earth with the mental disabilities that he would have had. I am just glad that he no longer has to fight.

I love Kameron with all of my heart. He is my world and my rock. He is such a strength to me and has taught me so much about who I am. I am grateful to have him in my life. I am excited for the future that awaits us in heaven, we have missions to serve and children to raise. Our blessings in heaven will get me through this difficult path on earth.

I am grateful for the love and support of each and every one of you. It means a lot to me and Kameron is grateful that there are people on earth that are caring for his wife and son. I will be relying on others for a long time to get me through this.

I send my love and appreciation to each of you. I cannot express this enough. Thank you, thank you, thank you from the bottom of my heart.

120 comments:

Ashley said...

love ya Jami. Again, let me know what I can do for you.

laurdacooj said...

OH Jami, my dear sweet Jami. I love you and your wonderful husband, and beautiful Kason. YOu are so kind to share these intimate stories with all of us. I am so deeply sorry for the passing of your sweetheart. I love you

Jeremiah and Heidi said...

Jami, I feel like anything I say would be inadequate. Thank you for sharing your inspiring words. I am amazed at your strength and faith. We will keep you in our prayers.

Laurie said...

Jami, it's Laurie Jayne. I found out about Kameron off Alicia's blog. I am so sorry. God bless you...he does. He will. I love you.

Merri said...

Your strength and courage is an example to all of us. Kameron has touched the lives of many and will never be forgotten. I am thankful for the memories I have of him, and I know that he WILL be with you and Kason forever. We love you.

The Solomon Fam said...

Jami, I also had the thought that Kameron knew he might have to leave you when he cried the other night. I know he didn't want to but that he will never really leave you. I can only imagine how you must feel. Kameron was truly like a big brother me to me, always loving and never judgmental. I felt his amazing spirit on his mission when he would write to me and he was so happy being able to teach the gospel and I am sure, like you said, that he is busy continuing his missionary work waiting for you to join him again one day. I wish I could offer you more comfort, but I know you are an amazing woman and that you were chosen to be his wife for a reason. We love you!

The Sawyer Bunch said...

Jami, you are an amazing person. Your strength is amazing and you will be ok. I know that Heavenly Father has a plan and you will never be alone. I can't even imagine how you feel, but know that I am always here for you. I wish I could give you a great big hug. I am just so very sorry. <3 I love you so much.

Aspen said...

Oh Jami, there are no words to express my sorrow. Just know we are sending our love and prayers to you and Kason and please let us know if there is anything we can do for you.

Aspen and Dennett Ingram

Heather said...

You are truly an inspiration, Jami.

As others have expressed, anything I say will be inadequate, but please just remember how much you are loved. By your Savior, by Kameron, by Kason, by your family, by all of us. All of us are behind you, and you won't ever be alone.

Stacey Mowers and Family said...

He is your angel now, he will never leave you. My heart breaks for you, stay strong.

Michael said...

Jami. You are loved. A Lot. We are all here for you. If not in person in spirit will love and support. You and Kameron are amazing people and I am glad we are part of the EAC family. Love you.

lynda said...

hi jami,

we've never met, but kameron and i went to buena high school together our sophomore year. he was one of my closest friends that year, and we'd sit outside of history class together before it started, us asians sticking together. :) he was like a brother to me, "my asian bro" we'd joke, and he was always so smart and kind spirited and made me feel so comfortable when i was around him.

we lost touch when i left arizona my junior year, but i always wondered how he was and we were able to reconnect on classmates and facebook. i was so happy to see that he had found the love of his life and to see how much he loved his family.

i can't even imagine what you're going through, but know that in seattle you and your family are being thought of, prayed for, and grieving with you.

-lynda

HollySteffen said...

jami, you are already showing your strength and wisdom in this post. you are such a great person and one of the best moms that i know. kason is so beyond lucky to have a valiant mother.

i had to take breaks reading this post. i was literally crying to hard that i thought i was going to get sick.

please please please let me know what i can do for you.

i'm sending you a big huge virtual hug. hang in there jam.

Rebekah said...

nothing we can say will heal the broken heart or ease your pain. it is wonderful what joy and peace the gospel brings. kameron will always be with you and kason and someday you'll be back together again. know that we love you and pray for you and your sweet kason! call if you need anything!!!!

the riehle's

Tyler and Bryna said...

Jami you are such a great example to me and many other people. you're strength and faith is so strong. You're a wonderful woman, wife, and mother. you're such an inspiration. Thank you for sharing your words with all of us. You're amazing, and you'll never be alone!! We love you!

Bill and Emily Grant said...

Jami, I know I didn't know you as well as I knew Kameron, but I want you to know that I am thinking about you and my prayers are with you! You sound so strong! Know that you are loved and stay strong with the knowledge you have of the gospel. Thank goodness for Eternal Families!

With love,
Emily (or Schmem as Kameron would say)

Reisner's said...

Jami, I hurt for you and feel for you. You are such a strong person and I know you can get through this. I'm so sorry for all you have to go through. It's a good thing you know what you know about eternal families and you know where Kameron is. My prayers are with you and Kason.

Burdett Family said...

What a great blessing it is knowing that you have an eternal family . Like you sad Kameron will always be with you. My heart is truely breaking for you right now. Your strength and faith inspire me. We love you

Mary Ann said...

Jami, you are a rock! You have an unbelievable testimony and attitude! You have been on my mind non stop and in my prayers. Thank you for your example and reminding me not to take what I have for granted! LOVE YOU!

Chesney said...

you are so awesome jami. your testimony will be such a strength and comfort to you. i wish that this didnt have to happen, but i know how much Heavenly Father loves each of us and helps us through. you are strong and you will be okay.

gd said...

Jami, I haven't met you, but I've been following your story for many, many months--I'm Emily's good friend, and ever since she blogged about you I've read your blog in hopes that Kameron would someday be rid of his suffering.

I know it cannot compare to losing your eternal love, but it is ASTOUNDING to me how much your story mirrored my own feelings when I watched my mother get sicker and sicker until she was gone from us. I felt her spirit 'left' us long before her body did, and she was so lucid and clear right before this leaving...I'll never forget her wise, smiling, and comforting face saying to me as I sobbed by her side "It's just *life.* it's just life." I know she was saying "This is just the first part of my existence." She is not, nor ever will be, gone, and neither will Kameron, for you or Kason or anyone who has ever known of this wonderful man I feel I've gotten to know over the course of the past year or so.

I ache for you and I know this is the hardest thing you will have to face, but I am amazed by your strength and realization that, even now so soon after his body was taken from you , that you are NOT alone. He is not gone. I can only hope to have your optimism and rock-solid faith when I face hardships in my life.

Thank you for being an inspiration.

~genny (in Missouri)

Clint and Tiffany said...

I am so thankful that you have such a strong support group to turn to, Jami. When times get bleak, remember the peace you've felt and the assurance Heavenly Father has given you that Kameron is with you. I know he will never leave your side. We love you so much Jami and wish so bad we could take some of the pain from your heart. I know we are far away, but please don't hesitate to ask for anything we can do to help.

Kara, Garrick, Rylee and Jadyn said...

Oh sweet Jami, you are an inspiration to so many. Your faith and testimony will continue to strengthen you, our Savior will be there to hold you when you feel like you can't hold yourself up. Thank you for sharing your sweet spirit and strength with us. I love you so much. You WILL be reunited as a family, and what a blessing it is to know that.

Jessie and Byron said...

Your strength is AMAZING to me Jami... you truly are a strong person, the Lord knows this! I hope to be able to help in ANY possible way. Rely on the Lord, he is the only one who can understand! I pray for you and Kason!!

kmelanese said...

Jami you are so amazing!! I can't even imagine how you are feeling! I cried for you! We will all be praying for you and Kason. Know that you are loved by so many people!

Juline Don and Katelyn said...

Jami,
I am so sorry for your loss. Words can not even begin to express my sorrow. You have expressed yourself so very well. Thank-you for sharing these special moments with all of us. You are amazing, and have such strength and have been strengthened beyond measure. Keep the faith. And remember that Heavenly Father is watching over you as well as Kamron. You will be blessed more than you realize. Remember that Kamron loves you and I know that he must have a great work to do with our Heavenly Father or Father wouldn't have taken him so soon. His life on earth was done and he was needed. I had the pleasure of watching your sweet little boy. I could sure tell how much he loved his mommy and daddy. You have and will do a GREAT job bringing him up here on earth. You are a good mom and I could see that in your son. We will continue to keep you in our thoughts and prayers. Love, Juline Curtis

The Warrens said...

We love you!!!

Hannah Peters said...

Jami, you are in all of our thoughts and prayers.
Like everyone else has said, he is not gone from your life... he will always be with you and with Kason.
Just remember, and hold tight to the fact that, with pain comes healing. Our God is good, and I strongly believe that If He Leads You To It, He Will Lead You Through It.
You face a rough time ahead of you now, but if anyone can do it, you can. Your strength and amazing strong hold of your faith has inspired many. Myself included. Any help that you need to keep being this amazing anchor for your family and your beautiful son, let me know.
Please accept this Irish blessing, as it has helped me through some pretty hard times with losing people I love:
May the road rise up to meet you.
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
and rains fall soft upon your fields.
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the palm of His hand.

:)

Erin said...

Jami, you are an inspiration to many! Thank you for sharing those personal thoughts and feelings with us. Heavenly Father definitely does have a plan for us. I know that he is watching over you, both our Father in Heaven, and also Kameron. We are all here to love and support you along your journey. Please know that you have a friend in me and that we will continue to do all we can to help you in whatever way is needed.

rosessirunofam said...

I know Kam will always be by your side as well as Kason's. He will be watching over you and making sure that you know how loved you both are. You are amazing and so strong! Please let us know if there is anything we can do for you and Kason. We love you!

ammon said...

Jami, my thoughts and prayers are with you and little Kason. I am so very sorry.

Summers Family said...

What an amazing woman you are to be able to share your story with us. It must have been the hardest thing for you to do. We are greatfull for your strength. I know that Heavenly Father has you in his heart and that he will always watch over you and Kason. I am so greatfull for the Gospel and the knowledge of Eternal Families. I know that you will be able to be with Kameron again someday. We love you and are thinking of you.

caryn said...

Jami, I'm so sorry for what you are going through. I was a friend of Kameron's in high school, and I've been following your updates. I'm so sorry that you lost him. He was a wonderful guy. You and Kason are in my thoughts.

Andrews family said...

Jami,
You don't know me, but I found out about your story through Laurel just 2 days ago. I am so sorry for your loss. Please know I am praying for you and your family.

I really love the hymn "Be Still My Soul". This is the last verse:

Be still my soul: the hour is hastening on
When we shall be forever with the Lord
When disappointment, grief, and fear are gone
Sorrows forgot, love's deepest joys restored
Be still my soul: when change and tears are past
All safe and blessed we shall meet at last.

-Erica Andrews

Susan said...

Jami - I can't tell you how sorry I am that your family is going through this. We are so shocked and heartbroken for you. But you are such an example of strength and faith. Our love and prayers are with you, Kason, and Kam's family.

benandkarigraniello said...

I didn't personally know you all, but I do know some of your friends. I just wanted to tell you that my family will keep you and your family in our prayers. I can't even imagine what you are going through, but will continue to pray that as each day passes, you will find your way out of this horrible time.

With both our hearts, Ben and Kari Graniello

neahawaii said...

Jami,

I have never met you, and I haven't even seen Kameron since he got home from Cambodia and then left for school, and, to be honest, he probably wouldn't even remember me. I am better friends with his brother Dan. At any rate,

I wanted you to know how much your story has taught me and touched me. I have often tried to imagine MY reaction if my husband were to pass on without me, and I honestly just don't know. I'd like to think I'd be strong and have the eternal outlook that is necessary, but at the same time I can see myself going the complete opposite direction. Your writing about your day yesterday is truly one of the most educational things I have read in quite a while.

I can tell, by your writing, that you are an extremely strong, amazing, and in-tune woman, and you are definately the best-suited mother for a loving child like Kason, and, I agree with The Solomon Family - you were chosen to be Kam's wife for a reason. You will be perfectly fine, because you were given the stamina for this occasion. I, too, am grateful for eternal families, and for the love and aloha that binds you to Kason, Kameron, and your families.

I don't want to make an essay out of my "post a comment" opportunity, but I want to mention several things about your story that made me stronger, and I know that your testimony has and will continue to make others much stronger.

Your prayers turned from "Don't take Kameron" to "Grant us the blessings promised." You reminded the Lord of his promises, and then were reminded some are for Heaven. In the greatest moment of terror, while nurses performed CPR, you were strong enough, mentally and spiritually, to realize that his heart rate only climbed because the nurse beat it for him, and then that the best thing for Kameron was for them to stop. You said Life Isn't Fair, and then realized it was never meant to be that way. You allowed yourself the grief and confusion necessary, and then allowed that to be lifted as you walked outside and realized how lucky Kam is, and that he is fulfilling his mission as you are fulfilling yours - AND that your trials are for you, and that you're okay with where Kameron is. I was touched by Laurel's promise to Kameron. Laurel's insight about Kameron's thoughts combined with your knowledge of Kameron's spirit passing the veil on Monday rings SO true, doesn't it? The body will fight for itself without the spirit, even when fighting itself - it's the beauty and intelligence of God's creations. Please don't make it hard to see Kameron everywhere and in everything. Treasure that. Look forward to your eternity and all the fun you will have together. Emma Smith will have a blast raising all the children she lost here - you, too, will have the time of your life. His hands will always hold you as you fall asleep. You DO have to live the rest of your mortal life without Kameron in physical form, but this life is so short, and so insignificant sometimes. There is no point in abandoning a perfect eternity in hope of a perfect mortality. I am so happy that you have the determination to live FOR him, to live to be with him again. So many people stop living in situations like this, or completely abandon the one who has passed. He has made it to his kingdom, and it is just as important for you to live to achieve the same.

Your beautiful feelings are forever. Your love and ohana is forever. Your "hiki no" attitude and the aloha in your spirit will help you to make the right choices for you and Kason, and will help both of you make it back to Kameron.

I extend my love and all my thoughts and prayers to you, and to the rest of your families as well. I know we haven't met in person, but I am still here to listen, to talk, and to offer anything I can give to you and to Kason and to your families if/when it is ever needed.

Love and aloha,

Lanea (Booher) Miller
- Hawai'i

Melisa said...

Many hugs and prayers for you, sweet lady.

Brooks Family said...

You are such a strong person and Kason is so lucky to have such a wonderful mom like you. I am praying for you both. And just know that if you need anything I am here for you.

Kacie said...

Jami~ You don't know me either. But I feel like i know you. Your story was brought to my attention from Heather Lee.
I can not say that I know how you feel. I can not possibly imagine. I dont even think I have any words to make you feel better. But I do want to say this.
Sometimes I like to think of the next life. Whether I go before my husband or he before me, can you IMAGINE (I am quite sure you can now better than me) when you finally pass on the reunion you will have with your Eternal Companion. Can you imagine the feeling of hugging him again in Heaven? I can not think of much greater, besides meeting my Father in Heaven and My Savior again. Remember, no matter how hard it is to think this way, that this time on Earth is just a tiny Sliver of Eternity. Kameron is going to be up there rooting you on. And as you said it is up to you now to do everything possible to return to him. Always remember that Heavenly Father would NEVER give you more than you can handle. When you cry, He cries. When you hurt, He hurts. When you rejoice, he rejoices. You WILL have eternity with him, and it is just around the corner. I wish you and the family every blessing. YOu will be in my every prayer. I wish there was more I could do.
Kacie Peterson Snowflake Arizona

Belle said...

My friend forwarded me your blog. I am sitting here praying that the Lord will continue to bless you. You will be in my heart and prayers!

The Clawson's said...

You are such an amazing and strong women. You and your family is in our prayers! Anything we can do, let us know.

Sara said...

Thank you for sharing your story with us. I can't imagine what you are going through (even knowing all that you do), but my heart aches for you and my spirit is amazed at your strength and perspective. Our prayers are with you. Stay strong, and let others hold you up when your strength isn't quite up to the task.

brooke said...

Jami, every once in a while my one year old daughter will be talking to the corner, or the back of the car. She will have conversations, and laugh, and coo and I know it is because she is talking to her Grandpa Frost, my husbands dad who passed when my husband was only 9. I wish I had some special words of encouragement but all I can say is that Kameron will always be with you and your son, always. You are such an inspiration and strength to so many people and loved and blessed.

Brooke Frost

Miller Fam said...

Jami, I am so touched by how strong your faith is. Kameron must be so proud of you. I am so thankful for the sealing blessings as well. May the Lord comfort you and fill you with his love as you work through all of this.

Preemie Miracle said...

I think of you as one of the bravest women I know. How lucky you are to be raising a heroes son and be a heroes wife. You are amazing.

Candace said...

Jami,
What a beautiful & stirring tribute to your sweet eternal companion. Thank you for sharing these very personal experiences & thoughts. We are all grieving with you.
Love,
Candace

Sarah Pace said...

I can tell that the Lord has already blessed you with so much strenghth and comfort and I know he will continue to bless you. We Love You and pray for you. Please, Please let me know what I can do to help out in any way!

I am so gratefull for the knowledge of Eternal Families and I know that your testimony has strengthened mine and will bless the lives of alot of people! you are amazing Jami!

The Fergy Bunch said...

Jami, I don't know you but I am a friend of Laurels and she has shared you story with me and many others. My heart aches for you and your son. Your words were powerful and touching. Your faith is amazing and the love you have for you sweetheart is obviously very deep. Your words pierced my heart and I can't thank you enough for reminding me to cherish every day I have with my family and to always have faith. My love, thoughts, and prayers are with you and your son. *HUGS*

Jake & Rachel said...

Jami,
We don't know one another but you have a big piece of my heart. I found out about you and your sweet family from Laurel. I am aching for you today and I just wanted you to know that many are praying for you and your families. I hope you continue to cling to your faith, family, friends, and eternal perspecitve. Thank you for sharing your story.
Much love, Rachel Camp Corpus Christi TX

Elisa said...

Jami - My heart just aches for you and for what you are going through right now. We are so blessed to have the knowledge of where Kameron is now. Heavenly Father must have needed his special testimony and spirit in heaven. I truly believe that there are some people who are just too good for this world. Kameron and our Alona are two of them. I know there is nothing I can say right now that will make you feel better but I wanted you to know that we are praying for you and crying with you. Although we have never met, I can tell that you are amazing and that you will make it through. Kason will be okay. He has part of you and his dad in him. Our prayers are with you and your family.

Megan said...

Jami-My husband and I went to high school with Kameron and were saddened and shocked to hear of his passing. Your strength through all of this is truly amazing. Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your little son.

Susan said...

Like many other posts, you don't know me. I am Dennett's mother. Your story touched me deeply. Your faith is inspiring. You will be in my prayers. I know you are loved beyond measure by your friends and family, and even strangers. Your message is one of hope, faith and courage. God bless you and your son.

GINA said...

I know we haven't known each other for very long, but I just wanted you to know that you and your family are in our thoughts and prayers. If you need anything at all please do not hesitate to call or stop by. If you need a sitter or just an ear I am close by.

Kylie said...

jami.
i have never meet you.
you are an inspiration to all of us.
i read your story and all i could do was cry.
our prayers are with you and your little boy (he sure is cute). and so blessed to have a mom like you! we are thinking of you!

The Welkers said...

I am so sorry Jami. I'm thinking about you and praying for you. Please let me know if I can do anything for you and Kason.
Love, Amanda Welker

Tanner and Lisa Williams said...

Jami,
I have been reading your blog and story for a very long time now, following your families up's and down's and listening to all your positive thoughts for your sweet Kameron and family. Thanks for always being so honest and true on your blog in your writing. I admire that so much! Kameron was my home teacher in college and I'll never forget what a GREAT home teacher and cook he was! He made us some GREAT deserts! If your ever in mesa you have a place to stay and babysitter anytime. I love you and your family so much. Families really are Forever what great knowledge we know. Again thanks for sharing such intimate feelings, we are all praying for you to have strength and continue on. Please let everyone know the things you are in need for at this time and anything we can do we will! LOVE YOU!

Jenn and Kylann Penrod said...

Jami,

I have to say, you are one amazing woman! I know for a fact I could not be as strong as you are if I were in the same situation. He will definitely be missed. Remember that the Atonement is not just there for our sins. Lay your worries and grief at His feet and you will be able to get through. You are in my prayers.

(I'm sorry if this posts twice. It didn't work the first time I posted).

J2AK said...

Jami, I am so sorry about your loss. I know you are going through a tough time right now. I don't understand how you're feeling, but I can only imagine the heartache. I also couldn't help to cry when I heard the news. My heart goes out to you and your family! I know you will get through this difficult time, but only with the Lord's help. I also know that Kameron is in a wonderful place. I always knew he was a special person. He was always a good example to those around him. He was always a great example to me. I'm so glad I had the chance to get to know him for so many years. You are also a wonderful, and strong person to be going through this. Like we always hear in church, "the Lord give us only what we can handle." You and your family are great examples to all of us! Please let me know if you need anything! Please also let us know when the funeral is, we would love to come. Also, please let me know if you need anything! You and your family will always be in our prayers and hearts! Take care and may God always be with you! :)

The Helvig Familiy said...

Jami, I can't even imagine what you are going through. I am so sorry for the pain and heartache you are going through. You are such an incredible example. Your strength and testimony has strengthened mine.
Kameron was one in a million! I still remember the first time I met him at the institute. He was so kind to everyone and always so positive. He was the kind of person that made everyone feel so special. I am grateful for the impact your examples have been in my life. Hang in there.

peachytiffers said...

My family is praying for you to continue having peace and blessings enter your life. Your story makes me want to work harder on getting my family to the temple to get sealed. Continue counting your blessings and knowing that there are many out there thinking of you at every second of the day!

Brie said...

Jami,
Your words brought tears to my eyes and I am so thankful for your testimony and strong spirit. It is amazing how many people you and Kameron have touched by your examples of faith and love. You are truly one of the most extrordinary persons I know and I want to thank you for always writing so honestly and openly. I have learned from you, and will continue to be amazed by all that you and Kason will do in this life. Sending lots of prayers and love,
Brie and Sam

I'm Just A Girl said...

Jami, like many others on here, we have also never met. Kameron and I were friends in high school. We were also in the seminary class and I remember many fun stake activities. He was always such a giving, friendly person. You couldn't help but feel good around him! He had a beautiful smile. I only found him here recently on Facebook and was so happy to see he had a beautiful family, but was saddended to hear of his illness. I, too, have followed your family's story and am very touched by the faith and strength you have shown. Thank-you for your wonderful example. No one asks to go through such excruciating trials, but you also never know the influence you have on others. From reading other's comments, it's clear you have touched many lives though your testimony in spite of your trials. I love your little family and am so happy that you have eternal blessings waiting for you. I know that with Heavenly Father's support, love and guidance, you will be happy and still be able achieve a celestial marriage with Kameron, though you may be still here one earth and he has moved on.

My prayers are with you and your little son.

Love,
April

Maranda Whittle said...

I don't really know what to say except we love you and Kam will be looking down on you and Kason forever till the day you 3 are united again. I once read a quote that said something like, "why should we be sad about loved ones passing, they are the ones who are happy and have no pain looking down on us sad that we still live on this dangerous and evil earth." Love ya

The Cronin Family said...

You don't know me but I was forwarded you story from a friend. I am so sorry for your loss of your husband and can't imagine how hard this time is for you know. You and your son are in my prayers.

Take care
Nicole

Spencer and Marlee said...

Jami- We Love you so much!!! We love Kameron too! You are an amazing person! You have been an inspiration to many people. You are strong, valient, loving, courageous, wonderful Mother, and a beautiful daughter of God!!! We love you and you will be in our prayers!

The John Family said...

I am so sorry! You are in our prayers!

Click Clan said...

Jami:
I cannot express how sorry I am for your loss. Kameron is a great man who upheld his priesthood and was a great example to all those around him. Through reading your blog I have discovered that you are an angel of a woman and a great wife! I think that Kameron is a lucky man to have you for an eternal companion! I hope the Lord can help you stay strong through these extremely difficult times. I hope you know how many people love and care about you and your son! You are very inspiring.

LaDawn Click

PS. I was hoping I could get your address. I would love to send you some things!!! THX clickmedical@yahoo.com

Maricia said...

Jami,

I served a mission with Kam and he was an amazing person. You have an amazing family and my prayers are with you and your family. I know that one day you will see Kam again. Stay stong and may the Lord always be with you.

Sam Sorensen

P B Wallace said...

Jami,
I am Kara's Dad. We too want to express our condolences for your loss. Please know that you and Kason are in our prayers.
You mentioned in your post on Tuesday that you have to keep looking for the "Miracles". You Jami are the MIRACLE. Your faith, strength, courage and positive attitude through out have been an inspiration to so many people, a large number of whom, you have never even met. I know of many here in New Mexico that you have influenced. I know that the fact that you are such an inspiration will not do anything to dull the pain you feel right now, but, as the days pass, the miracle of the Atonement will comfort you. The pain you feel now is short-lived in Heavenly Fathers Eternal Plan.
Soon, you will walk with your best friend and he will tell you how so many people have sought him out on the other side of the veil to tell them how you inspired, influenced them and helped them through their own trials and tests.
Thank you for letting us get to know you, if only through your postings. YOU truly are a MIRACLE.
Sending you our Love and Prayers from Albuquerque - The Wallace Family

Amy said...

Jami, my heart is truly broken for you and Kason and the passing of your best friend. I truly wish it was something you did not have to endure. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

sues2u2 said...

Jami, our son Nikolas was in Kameron's scout troop here in Sierra Vista. Please know that our thoughts & prayers are w/ you & Kason especially right now.

Gene, Susan, Nikolas & Hanae Spiers

Brent and Brittnie said...

I cant even to begin to imagine what you are going through. I read this and cried. I know that he is in a better place, but I am so sorry that you have to go through this. Please know you are in our thoughts and prayers.

Unstoppable Lindsey said...

I know you and I never really had a chance to meet, but I grew up with Kameron. I don't know what to say right now other than, you are strong, just like he is strong (one of the traits I really admire about you both). My prayers are with you...and so is my love.

Lisl and Stephen said...

Jami, I've said it before, you are a far better person than me. I cried myself to sleep last night thinking of you. I too am happy for Kameron. I'm so relieved his suffering is over. I'm so grateful you have Kason, a little bit of Kameron left with you to keep on this earth. You have inspired us all. As I've been crying, reading your blog, Franklin brought me a hand towel and I could see in his face the love, and worry he must feel watching me cry, and it made me think of you and Kason. Jami, I love you, and I am so grateful to know you. You and Kameron truly are the greatest of friends, and the best couple.

Jenifer said...

Jami, thank you so much for writing this blog. Kameron was, and is, a great man. Your blog has done more than keep us up to date on your lives. It has really helped me become closer with my family too. You are very strong, much stronger than me. I thank our Heavenly Father for every day we get to spend with our families. They are so precious and you never know when it will be thier time to go home. Thank you for your faith and your strength. It has taught me so much.
Jenifer (Udall) Hall

Gina Lee said...

Jami I am so sorry! My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Please let me know if there is every anything you need. The Lord has a greater plan sometimes, and we have to have the faith and knowledge of that. What a blessing it is to know that you WILL be with him again, and for eternity on top of that. You're so strong and such an example to all.

Valarie said...

Jami,
May you and Kason find strength in your Faith, family, and each other. I am so saddened by your news. Let people take care of the two of you for a while. You can do it later. You and your families will be in my prayers.
Val Zumbro

Shea said...

I am so sorry. I cannot even begin to imagine what you are going through. I read your blog and my heart aches. Your strength and faith is truly inspirational. I know that you will see Kameron again someday. We love you. You and your family are in our prayer.

Alicia said...

Jamie,

This is Danny. I am very very sorry to hear about Kameron. My heart aches for you and Kason. I am amazed at your strength and faith. If there is anything you need from us let us know. We love you very much and are more than willing to do what we can.

Kameron was the first friend I had in Thatcher. He really helped me get to know people there and fit in. He was easy to get along with and easy to talk to. He is a great person and very loved by every one. You and Kason are in our thoughts and prayers.

MikeandNancy said...

Dear Jami,If our tears,prayers and love for all of you could lift your burdens, they would be light today! You have touched our hearts to the core as you've shared your deepest feelings and your faith. Kameron must be so proud of you for the strength (beyond your years) that you are exhibiting as you press forward...ONE DAY AT A TIME. We know the Lord will "...lead thee by the hand and give thee answer to thy prayers" because of your humble heart. That is part of what we all find so lovable in you, Kameron and all the Habans. We are so glad you have felt Kameron so close by and pray you will continue to be comforted by "the tender mercies of the Lord".

Desiree said...

Dear Jami,

You don't know me, but I found you through Melisa's blog. I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. Losing a spouse is profound. It's like losing part of yourself. I don't know this through personal experience, but from the other side - I lost my dad at a young age. I watched my mom go through this grief and I grieved for my father, along with my 5 younger siblings (we were ages 1 - 13).

All I can say is to take the time to grieve. Take time to remember. Little Kason needs you to remember his daddy... And never forget that God has His loving arms wrapped around you.

My thoughts, prayers, and tears are with you.

Lechelle said...

Jami,

I am a friend of Laurel. Thank you so much for sharing your testimony of God's plan for your family, and for sharing your story. I am so sorry for your loss. I am glad you have the peace of the Savior, and I hope it lifts you up in your greatest moments of need. I hope you remember to take care of yourself, love yourself, and remember to let your friends and family take care of you. You have the prayers of many right now.

Sending you love, prayers, and e-hugs,
Lechelle

"Irrespective of age, we mourn for those loved and lost. Mourning is one of the deepest expressions of pure love. It is a natural response in complete accord with divine commandment: “Thou shalt live together in love, insomuch that thou shalt weep for the loss of them that die.” (D&C 42:45.) Moreover, we can’t fully appreciate joyful reunions later without tearful separations now. The only way to take sorrow out of death is to take love out of life." - Russell M. Nelson

nadine said...

Dear Jami,
My heart aches for you and Kason. Though Kameron's physical presence is no longer here he will always be near to watch over you and Kason. The strengh of your faith and love will carry you through these hard times and I know that someday you all will be together again. We will miss Kam and cherish the time spent with ohana. Our thoughts and prayers are with you, Kason and the ohana. Love, Auntie Nadine & Uncle Cedric

Desiree and Lars said...

You don't know me, but I grew up in Thatcher and many of my highschool friends are mourning due to the loss of Kameron. I just wanted to say I'm so sorry for your loss. You are in my prayers...strangers are praying for you.

Also, I've admired one of my friend's friend, Emily Alley. She lost her husband in May of 2008. She too has a young child. She's only a few steps ahead of you in healing, but I thought I would give you her blog...maybe it would give you some comfort in some way. http://johnandemilyalley.blogspot.com/

Again, I'm so sorry...your husband seems like an amazing man. I'm so glad you have the knowledge of eternal families.

Southcott said...

hi you dont know me but i served in sierra vista and thatcher, safford and pima and know some of your friends. I am so sorry for your loss. As i read your experience tears ran down as i cant even imagine the heartache you must be feeling right now. Just know that he will always be with you. I have lost loved ones very near to me and i often feel their presence and i know that my son who is also 2 1/2 speaks with them and knows them as well. What a great comfort the gospel brings as we go through lifes hardships. Know that many people are praying for you and your husband see the support you are getting. He knows that you will be fine, but it will take time. My sincerest condolences
sarah

Jill said...

Jami, We love you! We will be at your side!

Erin Noel said...

Jami,
We don't know one another but I'm so touched by your family story. I found out about you and your sweet family from Laurel. I am aching for you today and I just wanted you to know that many are praying for you and your families. Cling to your faith you have such a strong testimony I can see it and feel the spirit in your words you are strong and remember always, family, friends, and the eternal perspecitve. Thank you for sharing your story.
Much love, Erin Westberg, Mesa Az.

Callie said...

Oh sweet Jami. So much love and so many prayers coming to you from my house. I love you.

Ahlquist Family said...

Jami, You don't know me, but my friend Erin Westberg posted about you on her blog. I am sad for you. You are so strong and amazing. How lucky Kameron is to be sealed to you, and how lucky your sweet little boy is. I hope and pray that you will be able to keep your faith as you begin this process. What a great blessing it is to know that he is out of pain and with our Heavenly Father.
Love, Jody Ahlquist, Queen Creek, AZ

Lori said...

Jami, I cried through your whole post. I was so shocked and saddened to hear the news yesterday. I am so glad you shared the story with us. I went to bed thinking of you and woke up thinking of you. I just ache for you. It is my worst fear and you are living it. I just continued to be so strengthened through your strength. It is amazing! I can't believe how positive you are already. I know I wouldn't be. You have truly made me so much more grateful. Tyson and I have grown even closer through your story. Tyson is so appreciate for how kind and generous Kameron was trying to help a complete stranger get a job. We could tell right then what a great man he is. You both are so strong, that is why you have each other. You will get through this and I know you will always remind Kason of what a wonderful father he has. Please let me know if there is anything we can do. You are a great wife, mother, and friend.

With love,
Lori and Tyson Harper

Megan said...

Thank you for being such an amazing example to us all Jami. I admire your strength and your faith. If you ever need anything please let us know. Our thoughts and prayers will continue to be with you.

Steph and Scott said...

Jami, I knew Kam in high school and I'm in such shock at this sad news. My heart aches for your loss. Kam was a truly amazing person. You and little Kason are in my thoughts and prayers.

With Love,
Stephanie (Nelson) Johnson
Ladera Ranch, CA

The Thompsons said...

I knew you and Kameron at EAC when we all had family home evening at the Batty's. I'm so sorry Jami. Kameron was one of the best of men in this world, and anyone who met him could see he has a heart of gold. My prayers and heart is with you and your family.

c jane said...

Jami,
You are absolutely amazing. I am astounded by what you were able to chronicle in these past few months given your emotional state. Generations will no doubt read your accounts and be blessed for your words.

Kameron is no doubt proud of you.

Prayers of comfort and support are being sent from our house in Provo to yours.

Much, much love,
Courtney

Sam and Heidi said...

In reaction to the news of your loss, I reread "A Grief Observed" by C.S. Lewis. I just wanted to understand more closely what you were going through. He also lost his dear spouse, and best friend. Reading your thoughts just now--reflects closely the spiritual, physical, and emotional journey that he walked. Like C.S. Lewis, I know you will continue to find insurmountable strength from the Lord finding that drawing nearer to the Lord will be synonymous with drawing nearer to Kameron--not nearer to his memory, nearer to him.
Heidi Lewis

Franknkaren said...

Thank you for sharing Jami, that would not be an easy thing for me to do. You are amazingly strong. We love you and will continue to keep you in our prayers.

Janiel said...

jami, my heart aches for you and your family. but because of your faith, you have strengthened my testimony. you are an amazing daughter of god! please know that you are in our prayers!

Jeff and Elisa said...

Hi Jami! I went to high school with Kameron and I just wanted to send my sympathies your way! I too like everyone else only carry great memories of him, I remember him being such an example to me in Seminary. He always had a strong testimony and it was neat to feel of his love he had for the Savior. Thanks for sharing your feelings with everyone, I know that must be so hard for you. My prayers are also with you and the Haban family and your sweet little boy Kason. I agree with everyone else that you seem like an incredible girl with a strong spirit, thanks again for sharing your thoughts.

Katy and Landon said...

Thanks for sharing the story of this eventful, life changing day. I hope by rereading the truths you felt this day that it will bring you some peace and help when you need it. My heart was so saddened to read it, yet also stregthened by your desire to increase your faith and draw closer to Heavenly Father. I know He loves you - I know He will find ways to help you dry your tears. My heart aches for you and the uncertainity the near future brings, but I hope you can rely on the knowledge that others want to help.
I can't imagine what you must be experiencing and feeling right now and I can't read your story of this without shedding tears of my own. Thanks to your courage to share your story, many of us are reminded that we should cherish the precious time we have with our loved ones - to not worry about the small stuff, but focus on what - - and who - - really matters in life.

Momza said...

Jami,
As you can see, already, you are surrounded by angels. "To your left and to your right, the angels will go before you."
May you feel the strength of our prayers for your family and know you are not alone.
Love,
Dawn
*a friend of Laurel's

kirstencmead said...

Jami, I am amazed already at your strength and faith. I know I don't know you well, but I am impressed and know why Kam chose you to be his wife. May you find peace...true and lasting.

Kirsten

RaCHELLE HuRD said...

Can't stop thinking about you, Jami. I wish I were closer so I could come give you a big long hug. You are nothing short of amazing, and have hundreds of people for love and support. I am flooded with sweet, sweet memories of Kameron, and I am extremely grateful to know him. Love you all.

Jessica Duff said...

Jami, my name is Jessica, I am Laurel's cousin. I just wanted to tell you that you and Kason are in our hearts and prayers. Your words have touched me deeply, thank you for sharing this with us. I am so so sorry for the pain you and Kason are going through right now. May you feel the love of all those around you. You will continue to be in our prayers.

Chip said...

Jami, I am so sorry to hear about Kameron. You will be in my prayers. Thank you for your blog and showing me your incredible faith and courage.

Chip

kelly said...

Jami, I can't say anything anyone else has not already said. But I have been strengthened by your knowledge and sure faith of eternal families and I thank you for always candidly sharing your lives with us. You have taught me a lot the past few months through your life and what you have written and I have to thank you for that. I pray for you and for Kason and your families. I know Heavenly Father is with you and I pray that the Savior will comfort you as he calmed the seas and he will strengthen you in all that is required. I know He can!
Love, Kelly

The Seiuli's said...

Jami,
Thank you so much for sharing your strong testimony of eternal families and love. You are a greater example to me than you will ever know and obviously to a lot of other women out there as well. Kameron is so lucky to have you for eternity as you are lucky to have him as well. I'm so glad you have had peace and comfort. Thank you for inspiring me in more ways to be a better woman. I love you and I'm excited to get to know you more.

Craig said...

Jami,
I've always thought you were such a great person, but I have a whole new respect for you now. I'm so sorry. It breaks my heart to think of your situation. I can't even imagine. You are in my family's prayers. I hope you can feel the comfort of the Holy Ghost and know that so many people love and care about you. You are being watched over.
Love,
Cathy

Aubrey, Josh, Caden &Skylar said...

Hi Jami,
This is Kara's sister, Aubrey, in albuquerque, and we have been following your story...I cried my eyes out reading your post and thinking about what an amazing person you must be to be able to have an eternal perspective in this most difficult of times. You are in our hearts and prayers, you have inspired us by your faith and courage.
Love
The Edwards Family

Brits said...

"The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen."
— Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

Your words really inspired me. I'm so sorry for your loss. I thought of this quote when I was reading your story.

Allison Evans Brown said...

This was a beautiful post. How you can express your emotions and take us through the hardest hours of your life is beyond brave. I sobbed throughout this whole post, feeling as I would in your shoes and feeling the absence of an incredible person. My mom says that you are a "stalwart" person and I know with all my heart that she couldn't be farther from the truth.

Kameron is an amazing person and I know that he is with you, day and night. That's how he is. I can't imagine him being any other way.

My heart goes out to you. I wish I could be present for Kameron's funeral and if we still lived in AZ there wouldn't be any question about it. Kameron is loved forever over here. He's always been someone who made me feel like a person; beautiful, even when I never believed I was.

Thank God for eternal families.

Dave and Ash said...

Hi Jami,
I don't know you, but recently found your blog and read about your sweet family. You are such a great inspiration. Thank you for making me want to be a better wife and mother. You are in my thoughts and prayers. I wish the best for you and your family.
Ashley

Ashley said...

Hey jami,
I am so terribly sorry for your loss. I want so bad to be able to say something to take this pain away. If you ever and I mean ever need anything please ask. My heart will always be open for you. My thoughts and prayer are with you.



Ashley Hollobaugh Corpron

Kristi said...

Jami,
I cannot even imagine the heartbreak you are feeling, but hang on to the Lord with everything you've got. Your faith is amazing and will get you through this. Sounds like you have many prayers sent your way. Ours are added to everyone else's. Call if you need anything.
Andy & Kristi Daynes

Breann Brenner said...

Jami-
I wish so badly I could do something to help bear your burden. Although I know I can't, our Savior can and he WILL. I know he is very aware of your pain and heartache. He knows exactly what you are going through Jami and he LOVES you and Kason so very much! He will not leave you during this difficult time. I pray that you will always know and feel of his love encircling you and that you will know the capacity of your own strength to help you through this. I know you will be reunited as a Forever Family soon and I am so very grateful for that. Please know you will always be in my prayers and that I am sending ALL the strength I have from my heart to yours. I Love you Jami.

-Breann Brenner

Kaighty said...

Jami,
You don'tknow me either. I was friends with Matt and Dan while I was at EAC. I heard many people talk about Kameron and your sweet family. I can never, ever find words to make your hurt go away, and I find that in your time of immense pain you are lifting me up to live my life the way I should. I have no words of wisdom, only gratitude that you have shared your great testimony with so many people. Your strength exceeds my own ten fold. I wish you the very best and pray that each day the ache will be less. And that every moment you live, you will remember the wonderful covenants you made and the promises you will continue to recieve. I know God will bless you for your faithfullness, and for your willingness to give so many others hope that they too can go on. Don't ever forget to let our Savior take your pains away, because he is only waiting for you to give them to Him.
Much love to you and your family!
Kaighty Scott

Ron Sparks Family said...

We pray that you will be continually blessed with the comfort and peace from the Holy Ghost and the love of all your friends and family. You've been a tremendous inspiration to us all.
Love, Ron and Marlene Sparks

the Horton Hurricane said...

you dont know me but I will pray each day for you and that you can have peace on the harder days. You will be together forever!

The Welker Family said...

You have the perfect perspective. Your words are so amazing! If I ever know anyone who is grieving I will refer them to your blog to read your words of comfort. I pray that you will remember these things that you have written through all of the hard days to come. -Melissa Welker

Emmy said...

I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing this. I will keep you and your son in my prayers.
Thank goodness for the gospel!

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